“They are a nice person, but I’m bored.” How often have you heard such a phrase from one of your friends or even from your inner voice? Some people choose emotionally unavailable partners and enjoy the idea of suffering near the person who ignored them. Others prefer healthy relationships and know what to avoid, but do not feel the passion for their significant others.
● Why does this happen?
In such people’s minds, love is an emotional swing, and only in this way, the feeling will live for a long time, only in this form, it is real. You will notice this during Russian girls dating because Russians are known for their spicy temperaments. Therefore, emotionally free and worthy singles seem uninteresting and tedious to people who have trouble with self-esteem. There is no understanding of emotional stress, which means there will be no sweet moments of relaxation. Let’s see why they believe so much that love cannot be calm and quiet, like a haven in the ocean.
Ask yourself a question, or rather try to feel, take an honest look into the depths of your soul and understand: do you feel passionate about your partner? If not, and you are completely uncomfortable with them, even though they show loyalty in a relationship, the reason may be in your insecurities. If you understand that you were in love with the image and a real person does
not suit you, although they are not bad, it is better to end this relationship. Do not make yourself neither this nice person you call your partner suffer. If you feel attracted to them, except some of their habits, then that’s another story.
● You love emotional roller-coasters.
If you faced such a relationship at least once in your life, then a healthy relationship now seems boring to you. Why is this happening? Because you always know what your partner will say or do. A right partner will never push you away or judge you for any revelation. They do not depend on you emotionally. They speak openly about feelings and are not afraid of them, knowing that you will accept them.
Your psyche is not used to developing stable feelings. The absence of loud scandals and stormy reconciliations seems boring to you. Out of habit, you are drawn into the funnel of emotional roller coasters: today, everything is calm, the next day, and unwashed mug angered you, and you quarreled for three days, and then you go to reconcile first.
There may be an emotional swing in relationships but healthy ones. They are based not on the path from love to jealousy, resentment, sadness, isolation, and back to tenderness. Healthy people go from love to support and other generally positive feelings. When the moment of closeness comes, the partner with low self-esteem is relieved. But this does not last long, and everything repeats itself — until their loved ones get tired of it.
● How to cope with the desire for emotional outbursts?
The situation will seem senseless to someone. It is challenging for a person who is subject to these emotional leaps to cope with it. The person who suffers from boredom next to a positive partner understands that this is not normal but still strives for passion and emotions. Such people should work on their self-esteem.
When you find inner harmony, then the reality around you changes for the better. You begin to understand yourself and your partner. You are confident in them and no longer feel the need for drama and proving of their feelings. You are not afraid of your distance moments, because such periods are always
present in a relationship and necessarily lead to the moments of rapprochement.